too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
