I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
