It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
