I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
