I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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