shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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