how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
