Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
