Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
