she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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