Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
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