And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Randomize
