she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
