belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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