There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
