we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
