I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
