MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
