Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
