I hate all girls vehemently.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
