found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
