Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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