I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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