On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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