Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
