He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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