Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize