I'm laying in your front yard are you home
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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