one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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