Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
