i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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