he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
