Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
