fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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