That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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