That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
