Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
