I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
