Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
