I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
