Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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