you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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