i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
