So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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