it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
