I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
