i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
