never play flip cup with pint glasses
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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