coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
it was like eating out sand paper
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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