I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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