No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
