Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
