Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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