just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
