well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
