You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
