so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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