come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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