we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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