just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So vagazzling was a success
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