dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm passing your future prison.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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