Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
