Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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