I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
