My room smells like vodka and shame
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
