he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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