I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
