i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
