when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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