Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Life is so much better after having sex.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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