i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize