Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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